Men in bras: accepting the way we are
78TO BRA OR NOT TO BRA: A question of acceptance.
When one has rather large man boobs, the question is: "to bra or not to bra" I have read a number of well written blogs on this site on the subject of men who like to wear bras, which prompted me to join hubpages and try my hand at writing. I have read on many other sites about men who wish to rid them selves of their man boobs and the Internet abounds with proposed solutions for gynecomastia and whilst reading these infos one sees ads for methods for men to develop breasts for transvestite or transsexual reasons, but so far I have nowhere seen anything on just accepting the way one is. Is any happy just as they are?
Why am I writing this? Because men in bras is a subject close to home. I was born a boy and brought up as such but at 12 years old my breasts started to develop and I retained a smooth face till the age of 25 when due to repeated shaving a beard developed. So I was a mix of between two states not good in a bipolar society, one should be only one or the other. It is not the same all around the world, there are some cultures where it is OK to be different.
I saw a National Geographic video (http://www.weshow.com/uk/p/11552/fafafini_sexual_identity) recently about Samoa where when "When there aren't enough women in the family to do all the chores, the family will designate a male child to be raised as a girl. Since they are raised as girls they are accepted as girls. They are physically men, but they are accepted as women because they look and act like women so when they have sex with men, it's not considered homosexual." (quote from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fafafini) And in Thailand there are the now famous kathoey a kind of third sex.( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathoey). I get uptight every time i have to fill out a form and you have to tick those boxes "Male or Female" with nothing in between. Why do we have to be pushed into these two categories only, when a lot of people are in between. In North America there are the: "Two-Spirit (also two spirit or twospirit) people are American Indians who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many American Indian and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-Spirit). In the examples given above these people are socially accepted although they could not tick the male or female box only.
I did have a girlfriend once who accepted me wearing bras and found it fun, but this was different to some one who gets a kick out of putting on a bra stuffed with tissues as I had something to fill those c+ cups. Recently when I did a 40 day fast and became 17 kg lighter I sure needed a bra to stop my now drooping breasts from wobbling around and hitting men in the eye when i went for a run. The problem is that we do not live in a vacuum to be able to accept our selves we need the people around to be more tolerant, so that i can go down to the beach and take my top off without everyone staring which no longer bothers me but gets my girlfriend's ire up, and my 8 yrs old son did not want to accompany me to the beach because he is embarrassed about my boobs. I was helped to accept myself as I am when I goggled "hermaphrodite images" and I found photos of ancient statues with breasts and a male sex, and I thought in those times not only were such creatures evidently accepted but possibly revered enough to make a statue, cos making a statue is a whole lot of work. (http://img476.imageshack.us/img476/3763/65hermaphrodite0ub.jpg) (http://www.sacred-texts.com/sex/rmn/img/pl40.jpg) (http://www.doroquez.com/photos/images/paris200301/paris200301_1.htm)
So now that I have decided to accept the way I am and often do wear a bra I still can not do it all the time though it makes life more comfortable, so I still feel the need to wear a loose jacket to be able to cover up if I meet someone that I know. The first road to happiness is just accept your self, love yourself the way you are. As Sondra Ray says in her book "The only Diet there is" :- If you love your body it will cooperate with your mind. If you say I don't like my body," then your body must do whatever you DON'T want it to do in order to please you!
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Hello Goodflow,
You have nothign to be ashame of, there are many people in this situation. I have also gynecomastia for many years. I have breasts since I was quite young and was considering operations and various treatments over the years but found that (ater consulting with many experts) that it is more a question of accepting who I am. I think the main issue was that my mother helped me a lot during young age. Since I can rememeber she encouraged me to feel good about myself and was very helpfull, so I am using bras since many years now. My mother helped me with this and I think there is no problem of a man wearing a bra. Today I am married and have kids and I wear bra everyday. Most of the people around me knows that it is a medical conditions and thats the way it is. I enjoy wearing bras as it very helpfull for me and I am not even embaressed todaty to go into a shop and buy one for myself. I am always surprised how considirate people are - never I have a problem in a bra shop after explaining the situation and most sales ladies are doing their best to fit me the best solution.
My breasts are not big but I have worn bras since I was . I am 70 now and wear silicone breast forms under my male clothes. People think I have man boobs. If I my wife lts me I will get female silicone breast implants. I told her iif it feels good just do it and she said OK. I am getting Nigh profile D breasts. I can hardly wait.
WARNING.... From day one you have been pre-programed to live inside a little box..But be very careful not to step out of your little box..Or you will be made fun of..That's the way this mind contorl bullshit was set up..Don't ask any questions, Or do anything that has not been programed into your up bringing, Or you will be made the target of a lable that says you are differant...Do not think for yourself, You must not believe that a man can wear a bra, That women have a penis, That God loves gays, That your goverment would ever lie to you...Oh I'm sorry!!! The question was what do you think about men wearing bras? Well I think I'll step out of my little box and say Let's all wear a bra and panties to the party....O.K. now let's get real.
First thing you all need to know is: That nothing in this world works the way you think it does, Secondly: A man wearing a bra is the least of your worries..I strongly believe that you all take a long hard look at the way your world really works...Outside of your little box...And then we can talk about the importance of a man wearing a bra....I am all things, All things are I am... Most of you will have to do your homework to have a understanding of I am....And even then you will still not have all the peaces to the puzzle.....
daytona 3 years ago
Goldflow, I totally understand what your going through. I was raised by my Mother, and being the youngest of 4 children, 3 of which were girls, I was treated as a female for most of my youthful years. My sisters used to dress me in their clothes and being of a extremely limited budget, my undergarments were usually female in nature. (panties and stockings and yes, bras.) While my breasts do not fill a C-cup bra they do fill a B-cup without a problem. I do wear my femme undergarments to this day, and have no plans to change. I do not worry about or fret about my body as it is the only one I have. I am totally comfortable with my life style and my forced feminity. I am married and have 2 girls and 2 boys in my family. My wife and kids know about me and have never criticized or shown any embarrassment about me as their husband or father. What I would suggest to you is that you try one of the newer sports bras as they are extremely comfortable and can be a little more concealing for those delicate meeting situations. My daughters got and gave me some for Xmas 2 years ago and they are great. If I can help further, please e-me and lets talk and maybe put a joint effort on HubPages. Daytona